In a reversal of roles on Monday night football ........................................................ Rin Tin Tin barked “It’s the bottom line Lassie. The scars from Michael Vick’s madden-
dening slashing ring. Are we not“men’s best friends?”
II
”The bottom line,”snapped Lassie, the Collie that made it big at the studio that proclaimed Clark Gable and Spencer Tracy(“his waiting Katie”) as their stardust.... not knowing their “Boom Town” was the Delphi Oracle’s precursor to Michael Vick’s ’ retributive stretch into his nirvana......a role as a starting NFL quarterback.
“21 months behind bars. Indeed.”“
The Irish Setter licked his paws unabashedly.... those big eyes casting an enchantment on what many animals knew....humans were being tested from walking our puppies to their graven sidewalks......
III
“Thirty lashes with a wet noodle. Like he was the Marquis de Sade managing an insane Poodle show....us untamed to tear out the gizzards of our German Shepard Boston Pugs..”
“Isn’tt a dog’s life?” growled a Spitz, licking his coat.
“Voila It’s all about family, submerging our master’s playful genius into our screaming fantasies. Didn’t he pay his freight? ....twenty one months in solitary confinement on bread and water in a Ventura County like detention center?” barked Rin Tin Tin, licking his paws.
“The wheel of retribution and fated police dogs.. Coach Andy giving him a four leaf clover to be the understudy .....how far can Donovan go with those Campbell chunky soups.... his momma teasing him.
“Working up his appetite,” for the those brain washed viewer tongues.
And the Eagles rethinking McNabb’s role, releasing him to the Redskins and an extension of seventy eight million bucks. How mucho more chunky soups could he schlop in a hundred reincarnated lifetimes?.”
Momma couldn’t you tell Donovan to stay in the pocket. Not get blitzed by our violent dog tackles. Why didn’t you give Donovan a spoon of his own chunkies?”
IV
The Boxer stood up on his hinds. “Lissen you dogs, I may not be a Greyhound but our master redeemed himself...reinventing himself for subjecting us to his war games.
I may be only a Boxer in appearance but I’m a Greyhound in disguise.”
“Our master took the game over from Donovan and his mother spoon feeding the canned chunkies .” man’s best friend scratching his hide for fleas..
Surrounded by bull slingers yes men, lackeys and toads who played their dissembling airs, kicking butt .... if you pardon the English.... Poodle.”
V
Rin Tin Tin Lassie the Labrador the Irish setter the Boston black and white Pug all stood on their hinds, barking approval. Rin Tin Tin taking his cue “ Passing for four td’s Running for two”.
“Ten complete passes before he even worked up a sweat.....he didn’t have to prove a damn thing in the City of Brotherly Love. Not a damn thing.”
And like a Greek chorus at the Delphic Oracle.... the animals all stood tall, barking in unison. Not a begging whine of self pity could b e heard. the humans chewing the cud.... a mother and son licking their chops 59-28.. ..
A divine presence......... a canine Providence playing out for Michael Vick and the Philadelphia Eagles.
The City of Brotherly Love, November 16, 2010.
