American Air Museum in Britain

(Draft 2,August first, 1997. American Air Museum in Britain, June 11,2001)
Unlike the Korean War tags we never were awarded, the stringed I.D. dangling around our necks
‘’The American Air Museum in Britain ….Official Opening By Her Majesty, The Queen ….1st
August 1997’,

The good wife and ourselves sidestepped the barricade unto the Duxford RAF landing strip that memorable

yesterday outside Cambridge, UK……

I

The Pakistani clerk at our London bed&breakfast digs , 50 miles away, had said earlier…”Sir, if the
photos you took of me make me seem like a Prince Charming Don’t mail them back. My brother is on his
holiday at our sister’s apartment He works across the street. Save your money”,scribbling her phone
number, A Brooklyn 718 area code on a scratch pad.

Developing the view press &click snapshots back on Coney Island Avenue, we dialed the number..an a
Omar Sharif’s voice, in its lilting soft tones, answered “You got my brother’s pictures? Can yo deliver
them ipso facto Major. We’re flying back to perfidious Albion from JFK, later today.”

“Where are you? You know Brooklyn’s Flatbush? 815 East 14th Street, apartment One H?”
“Do I know? It’s God’s way,”we said.”It’s a six floor elevator apartment house, on Avenue H. Two blocks
from the local BMT stop. Atr Carney, Jackie Gleason’s kimosab (“Ed Norton”) lived across the street,
atop the Bohack grocery on the corner of ‘H’ and 14th Street where Rugby Road begins.”

A day dreaming punk from Santa Monica, California.,we were raised in that reality scene.
Attending Public School 217 with Dr. Howie the piano player from apartment one H. Midwood High

School. The best man at our wedding. The “Moose” aka Jack the hack, left handed pivot frpom the rucker
basketball courts at Wingate Field..But Dr. Howie and his sister and folks lived in the same digs as your
sister.

“How’s that for being in the flow of the game. The fluid moment, sir?”

II

Our odyssey begins a month earlier, Fort Hamilton Army Library. Bay Ridge, a historical neighborhood not
that far from Flatbush. Keith Lewis, Jr. an internet pro, E mailed Sandra Brooks, Mildehalll
R.A.F.,Beck Row Village,29 miles from Cambridge ,U K. About standby billeting for a once Air Force
Ready Reservist with 23 years longevity, and his good wife.

III

When the electronic mailbox was sorted out for the fourth time, Sandra Brooks who wasn’t from Brooklyn
wrote “Major, call USAF-RAF Lakenheath direct.”
“Sergeant Gideonse,”answered, the NCO in charge of lodging. “Com’ on ahead, Major. We’re expecting
the good wife. Our motor pool is on orders for her Majesty’s honor guard, Transportation Squadron,48th
Fighter Wing.”…………..

IV

We thought back all of our yesterdays. 47 years ago, June 29,1950…..a Second Lieutenant, out of Ucla’s
Rotc, in the role of a Supply Officer on temporary duty to the Officers Club..448th Reserve B 25 Light
Bomb Wing, Long Beach, California, adjoining Signal Hill’s rasping oil drills.
President Harry Truman, a no nonsense Commander in Chief, activated the 452nd B 25 Light Bomb
Wing, on being briefed about the North Koreans invading South Korea, crossing the demilitarized zone.

Colonel Cochrane, the Long Beach base’s full time operational officer for Colonel Keeney, the
448th,Colonel Sweetzer, later Brigadier General,452nd…

.”Lieutenant, you’re on verbal orders. Report Hamilton Air Force Base, the 2567th Processing Squadron,
San Rafael, California. Travis Air Force Base, Japan, Korea. That’s your fated scenario, my boy.”

V

Deferred until February ’51, for graduate school in Education, Colonel Paul McGuire called ,during the
Cuban crisis, Kruschev steaming missiles toward Castro’s Cuba, ”Be my Group Intelligence
Officer, Canoga Park, California . We’ll cut orders, giving you jurisdiction from Santa Barbara to Long
Beach, sending you to Intelligence School, Shepard Air Force Base, Texas. On the panhandle to
Oklahoma…Assistant Chief of Staff, Intelligence, Pentagon. Defense Intelligence Agency, Western
European Desk, Arlington, Virginia.”

How’s that sound, Lieutenant?”

“How can we resist you, sir?”

VI

For another 12 years…two week tours at a stretch ,several in California’s Mojave desert, the AF
Academy, teaching Space, we found ourselves August 1st,1997, at Duxford RAF base, strolling toward the
elliptical designed American Air Museum in Britain, the skies opening up, the raindrops descending.


VII

She ran for cover in the makeshift hangar where 2000 Yanks, many of them in their tattered khakis,
blues, bespeckled ribbons, medals galore….Milling around the dining tables ,with
wives, children, grandchildren, widowers, widows, sweethearts, mistresses, girl friends, chums, next of kin,
testing the grub of sandwiches, English biscuits, warmed over hot meals, fish&chips, tarts, pastries, tea,
coffee..

Reminiscing of some 6 decades, spilling the air ,the BBC audio taping “in yer face”,London’s Imperial
War Museum pro Gteg Smith, clicking, snapping away….pilots, co-pilots, crew chiefs, navigators,
bombardiers, tail gunners, ground crews, flight officers, air controllers, radar techs, intelligence officers,
supply , operations….


VIII

Meanwhile the Major “nuisance” in his good wife’s stead. fled for the Air Museum’s cover, those earlier
rain drops, pelting the air strip like big chunks of hail out of the ice age .…the hangar’s door, inside the
swooping P38’s, ‘47’s, step ladders into the cockpits, flying fortresses, nary a B 25…
“Charlton Heston,”he called, the echo resounding in the cavernous space, the actor stumbling at the
Museum’s door .on hearing his marqueed name .
”It sure is wet,”he said, looking into&thru the Major, a limo pulling alongside the entrance,
”Where did we meet?”

IX

Those yesterdays trailing back 30 years, Ucla’s reality scene of a bon voyage for Jules Stein’s departed
soul. Henry Mancini playing out his theme from “Romeo et Juliet”,the solemn airs sounding thru the
campus..Dr.Stein, a bandleader turned opthomologist had bought Universal Studios where Mr.Heston had

starred, “Airport ‘75”.

X

The limo driver cried “Charlton, her Majesty’s jet , from Edinboro Castle, Scotland, is taxying .Hurray,
water cress sandwiches with venison is worth writing home. Rank knows no chow hounds, sir.”
Insides the dining hangar for the 2000 Yanks, the War Museum’s pro,Greg Smith, continued his
viewing. Snapping, shuttering.
For the benediction, the well groomed museum staff, distaff and male,set up chairs and benches…outsides
on the strip, the skies closing, raindrops ceasing..


XI

Her Majesty, Prince Philip, former Prime Minister Maggie Thatcher, Duke of Kent, a Field
Marshall, Charlton Heston.
Greg Smith clicking away like into a dot.com, on a web site’s home page. Her Majesty in her yellow
ponchos tucked under the canopy set up outside the Museum hangar. Her USAF color guard in their
protocol, the band playing the strains that bonded the American Anglo Saxon peoples in the Battle of
Britain.

“Do you know the Greg Smith singers, always playing the Ucla Spring sing?”asked the Major.”Any
relation?”,the Fly Over into the graying mists. 3 F’16’s ,wingtips fingerprint touching thru the skies, a lone
Flying Fortress… sailing thru the ocean of humanity…


XII

The resounding voice of “Airport ‘75”,Charlton Heston, leaping into the Bard’s “Henry V”, the
loudspeakers in sync….”My soul shall thine keep company to Heaven; tarry sweet soul for mine. Then fly
abreast.…As if an Angel dropt down from the clouds….O for a muse of fire that would ascend. the
brightest Heaven of invention.. A Kingdom for a stage, Princes to act. And monarchs to behold the
swelling scene….”

XIII


On the USAF bus ‘s return thru the countryside toward Lakenheath, the Honor Guard stripped of their
protocol, cajoled the latrine officer from Cleveland’s Shaker Heights ,laughing at the toilet talk,
reminiscing about her moment’s moment..

XIV

On the ‘morrow, Greg Smith called from London’s Imperial War Museum.”Major, before departing for
Heathrow,. call Andy at Duxford’s darkroom. He’s processing all our negatives. You&Estelle might be
lucky.” Greg Snith not knowing New York cut steak was a la carte for the Major and the good wife’s
getaway back to JFK and the City that never sleeps.


XV


Walking thru the lush Lakenheath grass toward the post office’s phone, he stumbled, his blue eyes sighting
a buried tablet. To Andy. He paid the ultimate Transportation Squadron 48th Fighter Wing
sweeping into a plaque….
‘To the airmen of many nations who flew with the R.A.F. during the Battle of Britain. And soared into the
Heavens that others might live...”If the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years,
men will still say “This was their finest hour.” Sir Winston Churchill, Prime Minister….

Saturday, July 12,1997,Duxford RAF, England

A singles event for under 40 aged angels, promoted by the Big Apple’s Public Radio

A singles event for under 40 aged angels, promoted by the Big Apple’s Public Radio , accompanied by Tchaikovsky’s“Patheque” ,(6th, B flat) the semantics “drinks” “mingling” “hors d’oeuvres” was singularly consumed by the fairer sex, leaving the alleged stronger sex , searching the market till the last minute.


II

A tee vee and film director by the name of Delbert Mann identified with the scenario. First on Playhouse 90 Second in tinsel town with “Marty”. ,

An ex swaby out of World War2 , Ernest Borgnine, auditioned for the director and in that moment of encapsulated time, Delbert made the judgment...

”Borgnine is Marty”

III

“What ya wanna do tonight, Marty?”asked his kimosabi as they were hanging out on the stoops of the City that never sleeps.

Once a New Haven sailor, Marty (Borgnine out of Studio City, Ca) into the loop, seized the moment’s moment (“I’m ready for my closeup, Mister Mann”)

IV

Buying hundreds of taxi dancer tickets, Marty auditioned for the batch’s role, dancing away his nights with Betsy Blair, the formidable actress who was once married to Free Astair’s “double” Gene Kelly.

Immersed into the Main Street second floor gym like floor, Marty got out of his Borgnine skin, his soul metamorphosing into his Oscar winning performance.

“Losing himself to find himself” he discarded those bell bottom trousers and his wife from the Connecticut green pastures, relishing acclaim if not notoriety, his larger than life grin out of Jack and the beanstalk, his three cornered cap worn at a cockeyed angle.

He and Ethel Merman, a Broadway songstress with even a higher but not wider octave range, married , sharing his Studio City digs. For how long they kept house and “Marty” patter, while beating time to Johnny Mercer’s “ Blues in the night” one of the coupon stub tunes he rehearsed those “I’m ready for my closeup” scenes on the Main Street dime a dance floor.

*******

May the singles event for the under 40 year old angels be as fortuitous as “Marty” was for Ernest Borgnine.

The City that never sleeps, March 27, 2012

Hail the conquering heroes

“Hail the conquering heroes”. Hitler committing hari kari, his dream in flames, in his Berlin Bunker, his mistress Eva Braun’s body nearby, Tojo, Emperor Hirohito’s favorite unconditionally surrendering to General MacArthur.

II

Sammy Match was ensconced in his La Cienega tennis court cubicle. Giving lessons and selling

racquets, coaching Ben Hur’s Charlton Heston in fierce workouts. The Beverly Hills onlookers. Actors themselves like “Boston Blackie ‘s” Kent Taylor.Alan Joslyn playing chess with Allan Mowbary.

III

Arnold “Red” Auerbach out of Brooklyn’s basketball fast break&team play, morphed his competitive adrenalin juices. Drafting Bill Russel and his alter ego K.C. Jones out of San Francisco State.

Coach Auerbach chose Holy Cross’s Bob Cousy as his play maker and point guard, USC’s pure shooter Bill Sharman, another Hall of Famer in futuro (a coach, to too) out of USC;s Trojan nylon nets. His teammates Alex Hannum and Tex Winter, the assistant coach to the chicago Bulls Phil Jackson, the originasl thinker behind their triangle offense, Brooklyn born Michael Jordan and his alter ego Scottie Pippen out of Arkansas making it their carpet to the Hall of Fame. John Paxton and Steve Kerr feeling it from down town.

A 7 footer like Georgetown’s Patrick Ewing,v drafted by the Knicks, anchored the Bulls, giving North Carolina’s Micyhael and “Scotty” their “swish” into the Hall.

A former Yugoslavian morphed as a Serbian Tony Kubek came ofdf the bench, rounding out their championship “fives” .And for capturing defensive rebounds and making the outlet pass one of the twins in the NBA.

A prelude to Jeremy Linnsanity some three our four decades later.

IV

Bill Sharman, an Auerbach protégé, later starred for the Lakers, playing alonside Wilt, Jerry West, Elgin Baylor, Gail Goodrich, Happy Hairston.

Ed Pauley, the oilman and football player from Ucla, his Pauley Pavilion, nurturing his legacy

into the John Wooden immortality.

X


Within the passing of our time, President Truman’s unleashiung the nurcleur energy over Nakasaki and Hiroshima, decades before Steve Jobs of Apple and Microsoft’s Bill Gates,mushrooming their dreams into the morphing of the corporate world into the computer unmiverse.

V

Branch Rickey of the St Louis Cardinals gashouse gang becoming the Brooklyn dodgers general manager broke the color line by engineering the former Pasadena City College and four star athlete from Ucla, Jackie Robinson

Where else at their offices at Montaque and Court Street in downtown Brooklyn.

His hand and eye coordination had come a long way since his grandfather was a sharecropper. Listening to Don Barksdale spinning Ella Fitzgerald Sarah Vaughan, Billie Holiday recordsat Don arksdale shop on South Western Avenue in L.A.

VI

The human gamble morphing into the billion dollar lottery. The March Madness

survival of the fittest into the sweet sixteen, the final four, and the and their runn and gun of Red Auerbach’s “cigar like enchilada”

Kentucky and Louisville. Ohio State and Kansas .

VIII

The cigar smoke has transcended the six million, their trashing in the Fuhrer’s concentration camps and Warsaw ghettos.

To navigate the Obama health insurance in face of the planet’s avalanch of diseases. Not only the crippling alzheimer’s molecular genesis, the genome basis of neurological infamys, the cancersa curtailing grwoth and development, one of the Justices asking whether ore not we should be obliged to eat brocoli.

Why ll the sound&fury? Porque?

Did the founding fathers make it mandatory To eat brocoli. Does the pursuit of happiness incorporate brocoli?

And if the brocoli Constiutional barrasters persuade and convince the nine justices of the Obama health insurance merits, where does one draw the line.

In our day it was spinach. Will that be next?

Caulifower? Junk food?

VIII

The scyphus boulders shouldered by Prometheus stand in the way of the Arnold “Red” Auerbach free wheeling fastr break and teram work.

Basketball has come a long way in 6 decades,hasn’t it. But the society and its liberating forces are still caught in the recycling limbo.

The nation has evolved since the Democratic party ignored Adlai Stevesnon for John Kennedy, Richard Nixon, LBJ, Jimmy Carter, “Dutch” or the “Gipper” the Busck father and son Bill Clinton.

IX

Where are the Steve Martins, and Spielbers out of Long Beach, Ca’s junior high sachools> Brining their level headed ness and humor to the hellzappin republic..

X

Arnold “Red” Auerbach lighting up his “enchilada” after another a “w” John Havelchic coming off the bench,stealing the basll, the fans eupting like it was the end of World War2. , the players celebrating on those great Boston Garden floors.

Will the fans be remembered for makingbroccoli the vegetable part of their longevity diets or will they falls back into their eating habits.

Or will he learn to love broccoli, brother.

The city that never sleeps,March 30, 2012

Brutus is an honorable man

“Brutus is an honorable man..and they are all honorable men,”said Marc Antony at the funeral pyre of his mentor, Julius Caesar(act IIIi,2,line 87)




II



Unsuspecting innocence caught up in their imagination was the theme in “Sister Carrie”, or

Flaubert’s “Anna Karenina” or “Madame Bovary”. The seductive tentacles and its underlying

menacing sinister lies.



“Oliver Twist” captures the corruption of our time, doesn’t it sire?



“Yet who isn’t vulnerable?” asked Hamlet of his best friend and alter ego, Horatio. . Corrupting the youth was demonstrated by Lord Profumo and Douglas Fairbanks, using their manor estates, lure (Lady Chatterly’s Lover) bringing down the government



III



Innocence itself may be to blame for the phoniness and fraud in a monied society, where the haves and have nots is playing out 24-7. Didn’t Gnger Rogers “Kitty Foyle:an Oscar for her reevaluation, a role from Fred Astaire’s partner in those RKO fantasies..



She retired to Palm Springs to tweet her lyrics. “It’s all a scam, Horatio, “All humans want to vex their vanity on the small screen.”



IV



“What’s disturbing Horatio,”said the Prince. “Penn State&Syracuse coaches taking advantage of their *ball boys “to the showers”, the boys in awe of the roles the coaches were playing out. *Notwithstanding Tom Sawyer and his best friend, Huckleberry Finn.



On the other hand, Amos Alonzo Stagg 101 years into pigskin mentoring at College of Pacific, Ucla’s fullback Moose Myers, becoming an assistant coach under Stagg’s realm.He following his providence.195 pounds of muscle into the shot put&javelin.



V



To coverup the sin of rape by a ‘econd chance’foundation is part&parcel of the convulated thinking.”



But Sartre’s “No exit” interprets the daemonic sexuality as part of the HIV biological revolution...ages 15-19 the highest in the Boro of Brooklyn, New York.



******



“Brutus is an honorable man” playing out.....

The city that never sleeps, November 18,2011

Aptly named "Happy Valley", the Penn State campus is morphing as the "umappy valley"

Happy Valley, the Penn State campus, once the site of a renowned Hall of Fame coach, Joe Paterno,and the fierce animal energy, behind his


triumphs over 46 years, begun at age 39. . The year 1965 while the Nam war was raging.


II

"Go thee to a nunnery,." were the words akin with Ophelia's despair , Hamlet leaving her at the alter.

But here in Happy Valley,coach Joe demonstrated no game face,nor did his players dress rehearsal before Saturday's Nebraska gig at

UInhappy Valley.(the Trustees firing coach Joe ipso facto, late tonite).

He broke down and cried on knowing in hindsight he should have reported his defensive coorinator's sexual dalliance with a ten year old boy, in the gym's showers, to the police.

A graduate assistant caught the alleged defensive coordinator in the act ten years ago,and reported it to the athletic director and his alter ego.The coverup broke recently, the two men fired,for perjuring themselves before the grand jury...the innocence of eight boys caught up in the perversion.

III

The moral turpitude issue enflames the information highway and the already economic nightmare griping the day to day on line air waves abounding the .

fraternity&sorority rows.

Where it will stop, nobody knows.

IV

Who could or would have forseen such a maelstrom at the end of WW2 when optimism swept over Ucla's Rose Bowl bound players. Coach Burt Labrucherie and his T or a single wing offense. Been around their "fierce energy" at Spaulding Field, the dining hall,scribbling about their proclivities.

Whether the moral influence of coach Wooden at Pauly Pavilion had a different rhythm and chemistry, it's hard to discern. The need to suceed was the paramnount on both ends of the continent,. for even a Rasputin masked in a the athlete's attire...

Wasn't it, Horatrio.?


V

Again coach broke in at Happy Valley at 39 years and for 46 years, honored the game,and his players. A surrogate father, he lived a few blocks away,and strolled to his "stage" for that many moons.

Hewing his players rough energy.


VI

Joe Paterno lived the campus dream.. Walking to his stage for 46 years while thinking out his offense&defense has a scent of Shangri-la about it. Not that far from ourselves at Ucla's quad, Royce Hall and the Regent meetings, their upligfting dialogue, closing in on Pericle's ideals and Plato's work ethic.

The sublimation of such an enchantment within the bounds of college life goes right to the mission of educating young humans and the professors, in their reciprocity. It all being relative..

The hubris demonstrated here means a shake up is necessary. How else can the Happy Valley leadership give their fledglings the character to go out into a corrupt cosmos and carry on, with their futures.


VII

Who could the freshmen sophomores juniors seniors graduate students identify with?. Post graduate life requires that fierce animal vitality,doesn' it? Horatio?

Carrying that rough energy carries a high price for role playing...

Just ask other coaches like Jerry Tarkanian (UNLV) Bobby Knight (Indiana) and Woody Hayes (Ohio State) They seemed to be thriving within their own Happy Valleys until their coming to grips with themselves and breaching the bond with their fledglings. Free of doubts,yearning for strong leadership in their futures..

********

"What's the good word,at what was once Happy Valley, Horatio?"

"Lasciviousness, sire. Lasciviousness."

the city that never sleeps, November 10,2011

Lefty Pearls, Nature’s Supreme Design.....“Sacer bleu"

Lefty Pearls, Nature’s Supreme Design.....“Sacer bleu"


The stranger in the Brooks Brothers suit peered inside the classroom. “Are you the animal husbandry around here?”

Mister Farnham eyed the visitor warily, sizing him up as a collection agency man . “I’m subbing for the regular Ag man. He has a Bernie Madoff court testimonial back East. Can I do you in for anything?”

“My name’s Pearls. Lefty Pearls from the Health Department,” taking his wallet & card out, all in the same motion.. ‘Fly inspector’.

“You know anything about maggots, young man?”

2

“Can’t say that I do, sir. I’m an Engl…..”

“You ought to read up on them. Very technical , but very interesting. Great drama Great poetry. I got a stack of books at the office this high, ”he said…..” You know why I’m here. Your neighbors are complaining. They say your scholars from the Future Farmers of America aren’t keeping their animals clean …..everybody wants clean things these days. Nothing dirty anymore. Even dirty bombs are verboten. It must be a clean bomb. Some humans are even fussy about carrying dirty dollar bills .

Nor Bernie Madoff.playing out his 60 years in his 5th grade Sheik of Araby gig. And not even asking his home room teacher for the whoppen pass to the Ponzi swindle. Him 70 and looking at 150 years in the slammer,. manana...

“You gotta lose yourself to find yourself..”

.”Can’t be too particular on my Civil Service salary. And anyway we inspectors in Health & Maggot Research Development get samples of disinfectant. I’ll take a dirty dollar bill any day, young man.”


“Why don’t you dismiss your class? We’ll take a safari thru your animal pens. I’ll show you what I mean. By a top drawer inspection.”

3

One by one, the two men walked thru the pens, exploring the dirt for manure and left over maggots.

The fly inspector bent down on his knees ad infinitum .But each time the original expression of hope &promise turned into pessimism and resignation….

In the last pen a jubilant smile of happy todays &better mananas creased his benevolent face. “You’ve heard of love nests, haven’t you, young man.? Well this pen is a maggot nest. You got a regular industry flourishing right here. An industry that puts automation, IBM computer driven Microsoft, Sputniks, space platforms, the Shuttle with a capitol ‘S’, man in space, on the moon, probing for aqua on Mars all to shame.

This is Nature’s Supreme Design. A maggot nest,”he said in almost the same reverence Mister Farnham heard music lovers speak of Bach’s ‘Saint Mathews Passion’

“Y’ know young man if I were really greedy like most inspectors I’d corner the market on maggots. Get myself a good production man. Line myself up with a distributor and a national outlet. Why I’d ….but the truth is I’m not out for money. This is strictly a labor of love.”

4

The inspector dropped into the knee position as though he was born into the role. A one man riot of happiness and animal vitality. “These babies aren’t but five minutes old….Cinco minutos! Come down here, young man.I’ll show you the heart&soul of the maggot. Don’t let the smell frighten you. It’s only biology, part of Nature’s Supreme Design….


“It’s wonderful, wonderful,”he cried.”I caught the maggot in the second stage…you see young man,there are four stages….first,the egg, the maggot, the pupae ,and the adult fly. The whole cycle takes 24 hours, the adult laying its eggs in deciduous trees and garbage cans….”.

5

The inspector hippity hopped around the pen in his gray tweeds as though he was a pigmy playing hop scotch. Mister Farnham, a public servant trying at all times to please, dropped into a Siamese twin like hippity hoppity position..

Both men bonded, bouncing around like baby kangaroos feeling the terra firma for the first time, not knowing what to make of the karma...

The sub Ag man always keeping an eye on the inspector . And one step back in fear of moving ahead too aggressively, exploiting his position…..Lefty Pearls always nudging Mister Farnham when his hands came upon a fascinating sortie.

“My my this maggot is really one for the book. Just look at the size of it, young man. Why if we continue the way we’re evolving, I just don’t know. My name will be in the Civil Service

Health Bulletin. My wife will become famous. The publicity alone will change our lives..”

He scooped up a specimen, striking a pose. “It will be tremendous.”

“Fabulous,” said mister Farnham, eager to please with his sensibility.

“The taxpayers will know they’re getting their money’s worth of Lefty Pearls.. A picture of me myself and I holding a maggot. Nothing unselfish about the paparazzi…..”

“Young man, listen to me,” he said, nudging the substitute’s knees. “You’re great. I mean you’re really a great listener. A great explorer.. De Gama, Marco Polo, Columbus, Pounce De Leon.. Really great. I’ll clue in my supervisor. It might get an inch in our suburb’s “Who’s who”.

If the wire services pick it up, there’s no telling. The sky’s the limit on this minor planet, if I may drop a cliché.”

He wiped the smile from his cherubic cheeks. “Young man even if it’s against my better chemistry ,we can’t let the manure become a preservative. It has to go. Go man,” he cried, his jowls bouncing in ecstasy...

“I can’t help it. Maggots and manure do something to my basal metabolism. I don’t know what it is. Does it have the same effect on your chemistry, young man?”

“Sir, if you don’t want me to preserve the maggots, what do you advise me to do?” He asked, sidestepping the invasion of his chemistry., keeping the relationship on a high plane….

“Get some lime &sulfur .Add six inches of gypsum...and cap it. After it burns, bury the manure underneath. The larvae will never come to the surface. .The maggots will perish. I know it sounds mercenary but what can I do.. My hands are tied, young man. The neighbors are complaining. They don’t like your flies!”.


6


Mister Farnham hippity hopped over to the spot where the Inspector was x raying a specimen like a Swiss watchmaker pinpointing a 21 jewel maggot from a 17 jewel..

“How do you know for sure the flies they’re complaining about aren’t from their own garbage cans, sir?”

“We don’t young man. All we know is they’re taxpayers. They’re whupping our bread…….what we need is a control group like placebos…..”

“Can’t we put red flags on our maggots….and blue flags on their flies?”

It was getting dark as the sun was sinking behind the tall Palms ,overlooking the school’s pens….”I’ll have to think about it,” said the Inspector. “”I’ll have to think about it.”,turning his face upward to the darkening Heavens. “We public servants can’t take any steps on our own.. Make any decisions unless our department chief approves. That’s the Democratic thinking. It’s slow but that’s how the cookie crumbles. ”

He slowly rose to his feet, the color in his jowls warming to a cool fleshy pallor.. “Mister…..”

“Mister Farnham.”

“You have been wonderful company., Mister F.. I mean that sincerely..

You’re a born maggot hunter, mister F…”

“Thank you sir. I’m embarrassed. I never dreamt…..”

“May I ask you a personal favor?”

‘What can I do you in for , sir?”

“We know each other well enough , mister F. You can call me Lefty.”

“Yes, Lefty!”

“I’d like to borrow this specimen to show my Chief. Demonstrate my prowess….It’s a very healthy one. .I don’t think you’ll miss it, mister F. “

7

The substitute looking bigger and taller after the inspection., waved his left hand. As if it was holding a wand, and he was Oberon out of the Bard’s Midsummer’s Night Dream.

“Lefty, you can keep it. ..It’s only Biology .Part of Nature’s Supreme Design. Just don’t say I never gave you anything.”

Both men looked straight into each other’s eyes…. shaking hands.. the sun setting and sinking beyond the Western horizon, darkness coming upon the High School’s animal pens……

October 19,2011 revisiting the North Hollywood High School scene before the planet went ballistic....the Ivory Coast Yemen Syria Libya Egypt Tunisia...